On Saturday, we went to San Sabastiano Catacombe Here is a picture of St. Sebastian, the martyr (zombie?) they named the place after:
It was built of a Roman necropolis (center of death) but was renamed a dormitory by the Christians who believed it sounded better. It is 7 miles of winding passages lined with nooks convenient for interring dead bodies of Christians, of which there were 68,000. None of the nooks had bodies in them when we went down there because as our tour guide explained they were removed in 1978. I find this suspicious. Were they really removed or did they march out in a zombie army? I voiced this suspicion to my nearest companion and thus ensued a whole tour of zombie jokes. We did not encounter any zombies, but the tour guide did not leave us comforted.
At one point we were in a chapel under there where Christians would worship secretly and in the middle of one of his rants the lights went out and we were in total darkness. This was my thought process: "ZOMBIE ATTACK! Well I don't hear any grunting, screaming or limping this must just be part of the tour" But then the tour guide started to scream really loudly "WHAT IS HAPPENING?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!" And my gut reaction was not to run for cover, but to start laughing uncontrollably. Now, this wasn't a zombie attack, but for future reference I will be a god companion to have with you during one, because I will obviously too overcome with terrified laughter that I will be eaten first, you're welcome. It turns out the lights were on a motion sensor and all we had to do to fix the problem was run aorun din a frenzy. After that little blip the tour guide shuffled us along to the next area and completed the tour in the church above ground.
I thought about asking for my money back because I didn't get to see one zombie, but you can't win them all. The only real question is why was Johnny Depp in the chapel at the end?:
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