Concerned

Italians are supposed to be ahead of us in the fashion world by 2 years, correct? So why is it that they seem to be 20 years behind?

I have seen way too many hammer pants than are good for the environment in general and my eyesight specifically. How do they walk? What is their escape plan if there is a sudden zombie uprising? They're not going to be able to run anywhere. Perhaps I should surround myself with people wearing these pants in order to distract the zombies while I escape. Good plan, except my eyes would suffer tremendously.

Also have you met the puffy jacket? Well have you seen the Italian version? Can you please tell me why that is acceptable? Some people even belt them. What is the point of belting a puffy jacket? I saw one the other day, and I really wish I had taken a picture of it because it was puffy, purple, shiny, and I kid you not, faux snakeskin!

Please Italy, these trends were never meant to make it to the light of day for another decade. Put the pants and the jackets in the rag pile and we'll pretend this never happened.